Saudade, longing... how are you dealing with it?

“Saudade is accompanied loneliness,

is when love is not gone yet,

but the beloved already…

Longing is loving a past that has not yet passed, is to refuse a gift that hurts us,

it is not seeing the future that invites us...

Longing is feeling that there is what is no more...”

excerpted of Pablo Neruda’s

poem “Saudade”

I imagine that at this moment you may be having yearning desires, longing. Missing someone, missing somewhere, something... saudades...

The longing has as a condition. The contradictory. How comes? You need to have had and not have any more. Have the presence and the absence. It is in the absence that you know you are missing what once was a presence.

It can be a temporary or permanent condition. And that brings nostalgic thoughts of memories of when you had what you do not. The best way to resolve nostalgia is to have the presence, the object back, or go back to the place you miss. And what do you do when you cannot do that?

As now, in this moment of isolation, where many are away from their loved ones, from their work, they cannot go to their favourite cafe or restaurant ... how is it done?

Well, one thing is for sure...

Nothing substituted for a hug, a kiss, a smile, the physical presence.

But we can use some mechanisms that help us to minimize this lack. The first is to use the technologies currently available such as the telephone, a video call! Use that time to develop your relationship, or relationships, in areas that were not previously explored. Like, for example, improving dialogue, having and offering full attention, talking about feelings, thinking about plans for the future, telling stories, remembering and recognizing what is positive about the other, what you like about him or her - this goes for your partner, your children, parents, friends, colleagues.

What about at work?

Think about how you can contribute to the post-pandemic future. Make plans, have projects in mind, think about how you can innovate, collaborate, transform. Whether as an employee, as an entrepreneur, or through a new life project.

Our minds feel more productive when we have projects, dreams, and plans, releasing hormones of pleasure, and bringing us comfort and joy. If we focus on the past, the tendency is for us to become nostalgic, or even depressed by the lack, by the longing. It is important to be in the present, hoping for a better future. Take the opportunity to recover your forgotten dreams, create new dreams, design your life projects.

I have been through the same feelings…needing a lot of focus on the positives, reframing thoughts that could lead me to negativity. I’ve been working in pivoting my business, writing, enjoying every little thing of my day in quarantine, and I am already making plans for when I can come back home, hug my husband again, my children, my grandson! I have been longing for it!

I would love to assist you in the process of rethinking your priorities, looking for alternatives for your life, or pivoting your business. In my website monicasweeney.com.au you find important tools to access your inner self and make deep changes.

You can click on Book your FREE-Session to tell me your story and see how I can help you.

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